Saturday, September 1, 2012

More Funny Stupid Tweets

  1. of any of my status updates have made even one person's day better, then there's something seriously wrong with that person.
  2. Most people don't stop and consider my feelings when I'm insulting them
  3. The one thing I've never understood about calculus is how to do it
  4. Sometimes I find it helpful to ask myself: "What would a competent person do in my situation?"
  5. A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed
  6. thanks to my workout ethic this year, I got a trophy. No, wait... I mean "atrophy."
  7. Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
  8. I just read something so funny it made me spit coffee out my nose, which is odd because I wasn't drinking coffee at the time
  9. I don't need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
  10. 3 things I hate: stupid people and math