- when two's company, three's the result..
- I was concerned that my goldfish was epileptic, so I took it to the Vet. "Looks fine to me" they said. I said "But you haven't taken it out of the water yet!"
- Scientists confirm diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans.
- My laziness is becoming such a issue that I can't even be bothered hanging my clothes on my treadmill anymore
- Spent the whole day yesterday checking items off my task list.In retrospect, I probably should have used that time to complete tasks
- Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred..
- If you can listen to Phil Collins "In the air tonight" and not play the air drums, then you, my friend, have no soul!
- The people who invented the Internet never would have gotten around to doing it if they'd had the Internet
- what number confuses stupid people the most? 82
- Father's Day is just like Mother's Day, only cheaper!!
