- Look at your tweet, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn't mine. But if you stopped tweeting about other things, yours could be like mine.
- says when life brings ya down, get up, punch it in the face, and yell “I’m Chuck Norris!!”
- I think the best thing about always wearing a clean pair of underwear is you're never really out of coffee filters.
- You wouldn't think any of my tweets were funny if you knew how many pedestrians I injured while writing them.
- remember everyone has a hot cousin... Find yours now at ancestry.com
- If I were God for a day, I'd make Abe Vigoda adopt Dakota Fanning and then laugh at the resulting name. And then go to a strip club.
- Clowns aren't scary. One has been staring at me from the cemetery next door, but I can't stop giggling at the balloon chainsaw he's making.
- Say what you will about Starbucks, but I like having a place to go where I can be certain I'm not the most pretentious person in the room.
- I bet childhood obesity rates in Hidden Valley are completely off the charts.
- In our house it really should be called a cooking detector.
- Dress to make a statement! For example, a sports jacket & t-shirt says "I'm a hobo who found this jacket in a dumpster."
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Bizarre Funny Tweets