- "Patience" is what parents have when there are witnesses.
- A lot of people assume when i laugh while texting someone, it's because what they said is funny. But in most cases, i am laughing at what I said because i'm just that hilarious.
- A teacher at a school for overweight kids was fired for snorting cocaine. His massive pupils gave him away.
- According to some magazine, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low... Well, sure, it's hard to steal a car when the owner's living in it...
- After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
- At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they're imaginary?
- Banana peel, coffee grains, pizza crust, soda bottles, empty tins, paper plates. Yea, that's right! I'm talking trash!!!!!!!!!!
- Big Halloween party coming up. It's supposed to be 'Titanic' themed. So I figured i'd dress up as an iceberg and crash the party!!
- Candyland tastes like cardboard
- cigarettes are like hampsters. They look harmless until you put them in your mouth and start them on fire!!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Funny Tweets For Everyone