Funny Observation Tweets

St. Patrick

1. 3.14% of sailors are Pi rates.
2. It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.
3. You are so predictable, I bet you are reading my tweet right now!!
4. Always believe a woman when she says, "You don't want to know."
5. how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris?
6. A lot of good conversations are ruined by some idiot that actually knows what he's talking about!
7. I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent and now he'll never have any friends
8. I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones.
9. Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
10. old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative
11. If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting the vulture.
12. actions do not speak louder than words when you're beating a mime.