- I like my women the same way I like my coffee: Ground up and stored in the freezer. I MEAN HOT AND STRONG OR SOMETHING.
- China has blocked Twitter. Now 1.3 billion people will have no idea what I'm having for lunch.
- Miss England has given up her crown after getting into a bar fight. I think this automatically makes her
- Wow, my neighbors get horrible cell reception under their bed
- Obama says he doesn't tweet because his thumbs are too clumsy. Which is a polite way of saying he has a real job.
- We hate what we do not understand. I'm not really sure what that phrase means, but it's stupid!
- I hope Lady Gaga donates her old costumes to homeless shelters. Because that would be hilarious.
- Parenting Tip: The new Twilight movie provides an excellent two-hour window for reading your daughter's journal.
- Marching bands are actually homeless orchestras. Tragic, really.
- A Florida woman gave birth to a baby 9 days early at 9:09 in the morning on 9-9-09. But, get this, 8 lbs. 4 oz. LAME.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Strange but Funny Tweets