- Now that I know there's water on the moon, your natural spring water from the Swiss Alps bores me.
- Nigeria wants an apology for District 9? Okay, Nigeria, we have a huge apology for you. For transfer, simply wire a small advance fee.
- 14.9 million Americans are now unemployed. That's a lot of new blogs.
- Japan's new first lady says aliens once took her to Venus. I'm just amazed aliens also call it Venus. Boy, we nailed that one.
- I hopped out of bed this morning like Fred Astaire. Or anyone else, really, who has been dead for 20 years.
- Half of the appeal of staying up late is the total absence of morning people.
- A conference call is like a bus ride. I want it to end as quickly as possible, preferably with nobody talking to me.
- With professor Gates off to have a beer with Obama, now would be the perfect time to break into his house.
- I had this really kinky girlfriend once; finally I just had to tell him it was time we started peeing on other people.
- First Rule of Turkey Club: Bacon, lettuce and tomato
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Funny Observation Tweets